The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth

Aaaaah... So, I finally have the time to sit down and tell the whole story of the day Jaiden decided he had enough of life on the inside. So here it is for all of you who haven't heard and for all who want to know...

Melanie at the Baby Shower one week before

Baby Jaiden decided to come see what he received!

Star Date: June 30, 2007; 8:30 am

Captain's Log:

Brinston was quite upset that we slept this late. We were due to take our childbirthing class this morning- and it started at 9:00 am. I, on the other hand was still dealing with my new found obsession with our community swimming pool; so every matter that didn't invlove me spending the better part of my day floating like a beached whale didn't impress me. I waddled my way around the house as quickly as possible, got dressed and was ready to go around 9:10. It's a good thing our class was right down the street...

Brinston was complaining that he didn't want to be late. I think I was just complaining in general. Trying to rush to the class, he was speeding down the street like a bat out of hell trying to make it on time. We arrived at 9:20...

The first thing I noticed upon entering the class were the massive amounts of food the other women had. They had pillows and blankets; warm socks for their feet; notebooks. I, on the other hand, had nothing but an excuse to leave early so I could get back to the pool. With the class being from 9-5 and us being so unprepared, I could tell this was going to be a long day.

Much to my surprise, the class was a lot of fun. We left on our lunch break so we could get everything we forgot and geared up to become childbirthing experts. By the time we left at five, I felt like I could take on the world. I had no worries. We were ready. I had mastered the "He He Whooo" breathing technique and Brinston had the counting/massage aspects down. PLUS- we had at least two whole weeks to practice before this thing went down. This was going to be a breeze.

After class, I felt a new energy! Euphoric! No longer filled with anxiety, I was ready to clean the house from top to bottom! Finish the nursery! Go shopping for every last minute thing that I needed! Pack my fabulous bag of goodies for my luxurious stay at the hotel- I mean hospital. Whoopeee!

We did go shopping and as soon as we got home and I set out to complete my tasks with the energy of a three year old on a bag of sugar and red bull. Twenty minutes later, Brinston and I sat down to watch a movie. At least I tried...

While watching the movie, I noticed that my braxton hicks (false contractions for all who don't know) were kinda doing their own thing. Some were two minutes apart, some were thirty minutes. With our brand new childbirthing class certificates, we determined in our expert opinion that it was nothing and that we should just go to bed.

Now folks, anyone who knows or had heard of a pregnant woman and her bathroom habits know that they pretty much go all day everyday. So by this point in my pregnancy, I was so good at figuring out where every single bathroom was that I could sleep walk to my own in the middle of the night. It was time for my 3:30am pit stop. I woke up just enough to get myself out of the bed and slept through the rest of the experience until I felt it---- my water had just broke. And that, my friends, is enough to wake anyone up.

Since I am and expert, did I panic? Heck no! First of all, I was absolutely delerious at this time in the morning AND according to my childbirthing class, a woman's water rarely breaks until it is time to give birth. So, in all my delusions, I got up believing I had beat mother nature. I was going to get through this whole process pain free. And since the hospital was only down the street, I could get there in just enough time to go into the delivery room and get this show on the road. I calmly woke my dear husband and let him calmly know it was time. He, on the other hand, was not quite as calm. He jumped out of bed was ready to re-practice his driving skills from the previous morning's childbirthing class extravaganza. Even though he was in delerious sleepy person mode, he was running towards the door ready to go while I was deleriously ironing my dress (because what else do women in labor do?)...

4:15 am

We arrived at the hospital safe and sound. Funny thing is that when we got there, we were the only ones. Low and behold, there must have been some earthly natural baby alarm that went off; because no sooner than we arrived at the hospital did it seem like the new mother's tour bus did a drop off. While I was signing in, there had to be at least another 8 women come in RIGHT behind me. It was amazing! Out of everyone, I looked like I was in the least amount of pain... and I congratulated myself on being the only one this far along that looked so great...

... that was until the doctor walked in. Armed with the knowledge that I HAVE to be at least 3-4 centimeters dialiated by now, she asked me how I felt and I tell her that I felt great! She does my check and that's when the shock of the labor happened. I was an ASTOUNDING 1/2 centimeter dialated. Stoic face.

Delusioned: Labor is going to be fun!

Well, I guess there is nothing else to do but sleep. So, I take some of what they have to offer and snooze away.

9:15 am

The pressure. What in the heck is going on and where did this pain come from? But it's no problem, I'll just get another shot of whatever that stuff was! So, I call the nurse and tell them I am awake and ready for the next shot. That's when my nurse midwife comes in and tells me the truth: you are going to experience some pain with this and we can't give you anything else until it's close to time for the epidural. What in the hootinany type hospital is this? And at this time, Sunday, July 1, 2007 is when I realized why they called it labor.

Realizing that I needed a little boost to get the show on the road, they gave me something, not the petosin yet, to jump start the process. Let's just call it "Hell in a Convenient Easy to Carry Pill Form".

Ouch!!! Baby Jaiden kickin' some butt!

For the next 6 hours, Brinston and I pulled out all the stops. Every single massage and breathing technique that didn't require standing up. At a certain point, everytime he started to get a little sleep, I was calling him to beg for mercy. I cried uncle! I was through! But the doctor's were confused. All of this action and reaction from me and no contractions. There is something definitely wrong with this picture...

They keep looking at the machines. And keep looking at me. And keep looking at the machines. Finally, someone from the Einstein School of Nursing in Skoki, IL. (same place Kaiser Schoze' graduated from) comes in and determines that my monitor is on wrong!!!!!!! And when it finally is on right, what's the reading? Oh yeah- cresting (without coming down mind you) at 100 for about 10 minutes straight which is obviously what I've been doing for the last 2 hours when everyone thought I was at 20- the lowest point on the monitor. Stoic face. They determine it's time for another shot of the woozy meds and time for the Epidural which I will refer to as "A Taste of HEAVEN in a convenient, easy to use shot."

God Bless the Epidural!

7:45 PM

Peace at last. What a great way to ride this thing on out! God Bless whoever invented the epidural! Whooo Hooo! The only problem is that Jaiden didn't like it. He started to get lazy on me and soon, his heart rate was dropping. Without trying to worry me, the Doctor's came in and moved me all around to prepare for the final stages of labor. They put me on oxygen to see what I was going to do. But nothing changed so they figured I better start pushing sometime soon.

At 8:00 pm, I started pushing. This was the best thing ever! I didn't feel a thing. UNTIL- the midwife decided to speak the words I never thought I would hear: "Turn the Epidural Down". WHAT? I, for one, didn't think that was the best idea...

All of a sudden, I could feel again. And it wasn't good. However, it did help Jaiden get his show on the road. Push, push, push with a whole room of coaches that I was ready to substitute in at anytime. At 8:53, with the final push, I was ready to tell them that I couldn't do it anymore! Push the baby back in and we'll be alright just the way we were!!!! And like that, he was out. And the pain was gone. By that time, I was so elated that I covered my face to cry. Everyone kept telling me to look! Jaiden is out! I was reaching down to touch my stomach (which was still numb from the epidural) when I felt something grab my hand- and I opened my eyes to tune back into reality. There was a beautiful, gray little baby screaming on my stomach! Yay!

Everything after that was truly down hill and a blur. I just remember being EXTREMELY happy. Euphoric, even.

Jaiden's Out and I'm bringing Sexy Back!

~~~

PUT ME BACK IN!

Brinston cut the cord and I was waiting to see my little man. From what I could hear, he had the lungs of Luciano Pavarotti. Brinston told me he was saying, " I knew I shouldn't have gone into the light!"

Hiya Dad!

What a gorgeous little baby! The first time we laid eyes on each other, I knew I was blessed with the most special and precious gift from God. And at that moment and from this day forward, if anyone asked me if I would do it the SAME exact way again. I say, "YES! In a heartbeat!"

"Mom! You WILL NOT BELIEVE what just happened..."

It's a hard thing to explain, but for all the non-believers out there, these moments are what faith and spirituality are based on. The one moment when you realize that there are things out there way bigger than you and things you will never be able to explain. The message of what life is all about comes in a package 7 lbs. 1 oz and you finally get it.

I am no longer the person I was on 6/30/07 and neither is Brinston. We now join a much more blessed crew: The Moms and Dads!!!

The Beginning!